Humor On Marriage

Choices:

Choices, the lovers

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable,or get married and wish you were dead.

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Husband Wanted”. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

On Infidellity:

The woman did not seem upset that her husband was fooling around. When asked about that, she said, I’m hoping that one of them will take him off my hands for good.”

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Marriage:

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

A young son asked, “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?” Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

Then there was a woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.”

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.

On finding fault with your spouse:

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If a woman wants to improve herself all she has to do is get divorced. Suddenly she realizes that she has no more faults.

Perceptions:

First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

” A Woman’s Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death “

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Published in: on September 17, 2006 at 4:18 pm  Leave a Comment  

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