Based on Colette Dowling’s 1981 book The Cinderella complex:,The Cinderella complex is an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others, based primarily on a fear of being independent.
Frankly, I am a insulted by that theory because I think that most women want to be independent. Could I be wrong? Since it is an “unconscious” desire, perhaps it is hidden from the waking consciousness. I acknowledge that everyone wants to be happy and safe, but why would anyone want to be dependant on someone else? No, I just don’t buy it.
I have always felt that the “Cinderella Complex,” (if there is such an affliction) is the idea that you can (and should ) live happily ever after with a man, or the belief that someday “your prince will come,” or a handsome knight in shinning armor will ride up on his white horse and rescue you from some dreaded fate. The Cinderella Complex, is the idea that you have a soul mate somewhere, and maybe you will meet him some day. So you keep looking.
This is the fantasy we have been brought up with. If you don’t believe me, try reading a few romance novels. Never mind reading, just look at the cover of the books. These books will take you all the way to the climax of romance satisfaction and then end with the “and they lived happily ever after” fantasy. Nope I have not read these books, I don’t have to. I already know the ending.
It’s a hook with a juicy worm. Don’t bite. The “Happily ever after” is never explored in these stories because they don’t want you to know the truth. Besides, that’s no longer a romance. It is a drama, or a horror story, like “The burning Bed.” or “Sleeping with the enemy.” or “Married with children.” Relationships are not that simple. Romance is temporary. Marriage is an institution. Just be prepared for the “happily ever after.”
If I am way off base here, I would like to hear from someone who is living the “happily ever after with the opposite sex. I will ask for your spouse’s phone number to confirm it of course. It has to be happy on both sides to qualify.
The Happy Couple
If you are going to get married here is my advice: To women:
1. Don’t (You won’t take it so..)
2. Do a criminal background check.
3. Talk to his ex-wife.
4. Make him fill out an application.
6. Check his work record and his credit record.
7. Make sure he can support you and the child you will make.
8. Get your own bank account and your own income or job.
9. Get a pre-nuptial agreement and a deposit.
10. Take inventory about what you both want and expect out of the relationship.
For a Man: All of the above applies to men also.
All in good humor of course. Have fun folks! Live the dream.